I'm Getting Bad at This!

I still have been really bad about posting!  Good thing I'm working hard in the class to get the credit, and when I can remember I'm posting about the blog.  Class has just been very exciting lately.  There's so much to learn about marriage and the family.  I never expected to learn this much about family before.  You grow up just assuming you know everything, and how to fix everything...but you really don't.  I never expected half of these things to happen or to occur in families.  I'm so grateful for all the learning in the class that I've done, and will continue to do.

Stress
How to deal with stress in the family:
   We have what we like to call a "crisis" in the family.  Some type of catastrophe has happened in the home or with the family and it seems like the world is going to end.  Not the case, at all.  We take different steps to cure the issue, but then in the process of this "cure" we find another crisis that happens.  THIS IS COMPLETELY NORMAL! We must remember when this happens, we can't give up.  It's all part of the model of crisis.  We like to call it the ABCX Model
  
 Actual event
 Both resources-reactions
 Cognitions
 -------------------------------
total eXperience

Ways to Communicate

• words
• tone
• non-verbal

14% of conflict comes from words
35% comes form tone
51% comes from non-verbal
86% of communication is lost through texting

-There is no direct way to know someone's thoughts and/or feelings
      -We use different media/medium to do this
               -We encode or decode
-Something that is key: don't assume!
--> when you talk about it, don't attack it!

Hope you all had a wonderful week! Thanksgiving is coming up and don't forget to be thankful for your blessings daily!  

It's been a while..

Woops! Two weeks without posting and updating y'all on what's been going on with classes and my life!

Well, to get on with what class has been like, we learned recently that there are actual Laws of Attraction.  Of course, they're unspoken laws, and some people may not even recognize that these things apply to their lives.  There propinquity: it's related to proximity and where the opposite sex lives that makes them more attractive in a sense that they want to live close to each other.  There's the obvious of physical attraction.  Another one is similarity.  Yes, we hear that "opposites attract" and it is true.  In the same way we like to find things in one another that are alike because it's comfortable and recognizable.  Where you can be opposite in other categories, similarity is something that is looked for and something you're used to. 

• Relationship Attachment Model: 
• know
• trust
• rely
• commit
• touch
• This model applies to those dating to engagement to marriage

MEN! Women find it attractive when you 1. plan a date 2. pay for the date 3. you're paired off with her! When you plan it's showing you preside, paid for shows that you provide, and paired off shows that you are protecting much like The Proclamation to the Family.

There are 4 different types of love: Agape-love for fellow man Philios- brotherly love Eros-passionate/romantic and Storge-parent to child.

The next class post will be this weekend and it will be about how to prepare for marriage and respect towards one another.

My Life Lately!
It's been rough because a lot has been going on with my family at home and my sister Ambr is home from Hawaii!  She has my baby niece there with her (Madison) and I've never met her before!  She is a doll though, and we have been Skyping for the sake of me staying sane. My friend Amanda came and visited for a weekend.  It snowed here and it was beautiful! Usually I have a hard time with the snow because it's really windy here, but the snow was perfect and it wasn't windy!  My roommates and I ran through the snow barefoot like my family tradition.  We had a ward Halloween party which totally rocked.  I had so much fun at it. Life has just been rollin' lately.  

 Ward Halloween Party

 Skyping my beautiful niece Maddie

  Running through the snow barefoot!

Photo credit: Kimber Loryn Pogue Photography

 
      

Your Divine Role

We learned this week about how gender role has an affect on members of the family and why it affects them.  In a stereotypical world we learn that men are raised to be "men".  They do things like: outside work, work on the cars, fix the house, and basically just do the "dirty" work.  While women on the other hand get to stay inside and cook the meals, tend to the children, clean the house, and even to some "home making."  
Where did these ideas come from?  Are we still old-fashioned in the world today?  I have found, and many others as well, have noticed how society is changing.  We have learned that sexuality has changed, the style of living, cohabitation, and many more things have evolved from something that didn't used to be present.  What do we want the role of "female" and "male" to be in our lives/homes?  How about when it comes to chores?  
In my family, everyone does the equal amount of work around the house and no certain chore or outside work is declared by either daughter or son in the home.  My dad tried to influence more delicate and sensitive things to the girls in the family, but working around the farm or working on the dirt bikes did not stop my second oldest sister from getting dirty.  
Do our morals matter?  Why, how? I think they do matter because people like facts.  I think if we were able to prove things scientifically then they would understand more.  They can see why people think a certain way, act, and choose tings.  As long as it's valid and supported I think people would be more understanding.  I bring this to a point because we were talking about homosexuality in our class.  Some say they were "born that way" or "it's easier" or "exotic becomes erotic."  What are your opinions?  What do you believe influences sexuality?  I tie this all together by saying how gender role is crucial and specific in the home to influence sexuality.  What are your thoughts? 

Just a few of my nieces and nephews and how much they influence me and I sure do love them!

 

My youngest brother, my parents and I at the Louisville, KY Latter-day Saint Temple.

 

Diversity

There is so much diversity in the world today, and it's so great because we can all take the opportunity to learn and respect others and invite new things into our lives.  We learned this week how important the family role and the role of the father was in the home.  We found out that sometimes families make sacrifices that may hurt the family, but they only have hope for a better lifestyle.  I'm so grateful for my family and all the work my parents do to make our home better!

General Conference is the weekend, and let's just say that it's been so amazing!  Prophet Thomas S. Monson announced that young men that are worthy, willing, graduated from high school, and feel mature enough can go on a mission at the age of 18. The same qualifications go for girls, but the age for them is at 19 now.  I have a little brother that could go on a mission in May and one of my best friends/sisters could leave for her mission right now! I bet you could imagine the emotions I was feeling.  The audience was in so much shock.  SO many blessings are coming our way. Conference has been amazing and I'm truly grateful to hear the words of a living Prophet of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints on the earth today.

This photo is of us girls in the conference center of the Saturday morning session.  The beautiful happy girl in the back (Annie) is the one that will be serving her mission here soon!

Family Ties

This week we learned about the different types of boundaries and ties in a family.  There's typically a dominate tie between the husband and wife and then a more distinct tie with the children.  There's always going to be a dominate in the family, but not that the dominance is unhealthy, there will be one.  There's usually a distant tie and a tie that can never be broken.

I can say that I am so grateful for my family.  Although we may struggle at times, like any other family, we can always find that perfect amount of love for each other.  No distance can break what my family has.  The Gospel has been such a blessing to have in our lives.  It has guided and directed us closer to each other and our Heavenly Father.  I'm so blessed to be able to live with my family for eternity, and to start my own.  It's times like these that are especially tender and hard because I'm so far away from home (approx. 33 hours).  I love my family so much and miss them!

 

 

 

 

 Photo credit: Kimber Pogue Photography http://www.facebook.com/KimberPoguePhotography

As of Lately

It's always difficult the first two weeks of school. You're not sure what your schedule is and trying to squeeze eating, homework, work, and working out in just seems too difficult. Then it doesn't help when you want to have some type of a social life, but that seems to wither away.  

I think this first week was quite a success for me! Not much of an organized schedule, but it was still a good start to school. My schedule is still very demanding but it's totally doable! I'm learning a lot in my classes. Not just the major classes, but my generals as well. It's helped me to open my mind to more things and really enjoy learning.

Over the weekend Daniel (the boyfriend) and I went home to Boise (where he's from) to enjoy a splendid weekend with his family. All the girls (nieces, sister, sister-in-law, mom, and I) partook in a Women's Walk for St. Luke's Hospital. It was a ton of fun and everyone had a blast. We enjoyed the weekend playing games and going to church with the family. Church was amazing as usual, but we were all a little sleepy. Here are a few photos from our weekend. (Pictures:Women's Walk, Daniel and his sweet niece Kortnee because they matched for church, awesome roommate got me a ukulele *pink*).

 

 

 

 

For Class

I'm taking a few major classes this semester along with some generals.  I'm super excited to see what this semester will bring along with all the challenges.  My classes all seem awesome, so far, that is until I'm up to my neck in homework.  My teachers all rock and the work is a lot but so beneficial.  

For one of my major classes (Family Relations) we are to have a blog and keep tabs throughout the semester on how our lives and classes are going.  I'm thrilled to be posting about the good and not so good of the semester here. Throughout this blog I hope to provide some spiritual insight and advice that can not only benefit me, but readers as well.  There will be PLENTY of personal experiences and updates on this blog. 

I hope y'all enjoy this and follow!